There are a lot of things going through my mind lately.
My younger brother passed away on Valentines Day due to alcoholism. He struggled with it even more than I have and could not stop.
I miss him so much for so many reasons. If anyone could truly understand me it was him. Days go by and I think if only Bryan were here he would understand.
I am living this life of bipolar, addiction, and despair. Now more than ever loneliness has crept in and defeated my resolve. Anger has been mixed with sadness. Hate with love. Memories keep flooding in and creating a sad longing for old times.
When all is said and done I guess I have to keep on living for others in my life. I don't want to do anything sometimes. I want to drown my sorrows in alcohol, but what good will that do.
It is generally believed that many of those with bipolar disorder also struggle with alcoholism or substance abuse. Researchers, as well as many of those caught in the cycle of addiction, believe the use of these substances is an attempt to alleviate symptoms or to "self-medicate."
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ReplyDeleteI am so, so very sorry to hear about your brother - that is heartbreaking to hear. How are you holding up - are you okay? Please be very gentle on yourself - this is a really difficult time for you! So glad I found your blog again. Hugs! xoxo
ReplyDeleteThank you. I am doing well. Last year I found a we agnostic aa meeting and it has helped me tremendously. Im staying sober and stable on my meds.
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