Mentally off

Yesterday was so weird.  It felt as if I was manic and tired at the same time; which usually doesn't go hand in hand.  On sundays we usually just sit at home, relax, and enjoy football.  My mind was all over the place and I couldn't do it.  I felt I needed to go and do something.

So I braved the stores; bad idea.  It felt like I was in a fog, but a thousand things were running through my mind; like who do we have left to buy for christmas, I need to spend my kohl's cash cuz it expires today, my son needs different diapers cuz the ones I bought are leaking, I want to make my presents prettier so I need ribbon, and blah blah blah!  All these thoughts were outta control in my wacky head.  On top of that the crowds made it seem worse.  I came home feeling drained.

I think I slept really hard last night because when I woke up I was sore all over.  I felt better a little later, but I hope a day like yesterday doesn't happen again any time soon.

I am worried off days like yesterday might occur more often because I am not drinking anymore.  I hate the problems associated with drinking, but chemically it has aided me over the years.  My medicine is probably going to need to be adjusted; I just need to find a psychiatrist that I can work with.  The last one I saw was a nurse practitioner who was just going off what I told her instead of any knowledge that she had.  Then the psychiatrist before her adjusted my meds and then all of a sudden wasn't covered under my insurance any more.  I had to make some adjustments on my own based on how I was feeling.  I know best on what I feel at any certain time; it just needs to be communicated to someone who knows how to change my medicine accordingly.

Oh why does my mind need to be so confusing!?!?