There are a lot of things going through my mind lately.
My younger brother passed away on Valentines Day due to alcoholism. He struggled with it even more than I have and could not stop.
I miss him so much for so many reasons. If anyone could truly understand me it was him. Days go by and I think if only Bryan were here he would understand.
I am living this life of bipolar, addiction, and despair. Now more than ever loneliness has crept in and defeated my resolve. Anger has been mixed with sadness. Hate with love. Memories keep flooding in and creating a sad longing for old times.
When all is said and done I guess I have to keep on living for others in my life. I don't want to do anything sometimes. I want to drown my sorrows in alcohol, but what good will that do.
It is generally believed that many of those with bipolar disorder also struggle with alcoholism or substance abuse. Researchers, as well as many of those caught in the cycle of addiction, believe the use of these substances is an attempt to alleviate symptoms or to "self-medicate."
