Saturday, February 25, 2012

Going back to work

It's been almost 3 years since I've been employed with a company.  I've been working as a stay at home mom and homemaker since I had my son in 2009.  He is now old enough that we feel it's alright for him to start daycare part time.  This means it is time for me to go back to work part time.

There are quite a few emotions that occur when I think about this: excitement, nervousness, satisfaction, self-worth, happiness, and even sadness (for being away from my son for a short while).

I've found quite a few places in my nearby area that I can apply to, 32 to be exact.  I recently passed a test that certified me in my field of study and I have my Bachelors degree as well.  All this makes me confident I can obtain a job, but then there is the doubt that creeps in because I have been out of work so long.  My career involves a lot of technical skills and I know there will be working interviews.

This is one of those turning points in life when changes occur; I'm not good with changes usually, but I think this time I'm ready.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012


Last night, we were watching Two and a Half Men and one of the characters, Lindsay, made me realize how grateful I am to be sober.  During the entire episode she was drinking wine and barfing all over the place including her boyfriends mouth when she was kissing him!

It so reminded me of my drinking days, from what I've been told; I never barfed in someones mouth though, I don't think.  I never really saw the full aspect of my drinking because I was wasted and usually blacked out.  It was others around me who saw the disgusting results of drinking too much.

I think if every alcoholic was shown a video of their actions while drunk, it would make them want to stop.  My husband took a photo of me the last time I was passed out drunk and it has haunted me since.

I have 5 months under my belt now and plan to continue to stay sober 'til the day I die!

Friday, February 17, 2012

Can't we all just get along!

I'm reading a book about all the different religions from ancient to current times.  It is amazing how similar they all are.  The majority contain an aspect of good and evil, plus some form of a god or creator.

What I don't understand is why, with all the similarities, have there been so many wars and problems between the different beliefs?  If everyone could understand that people are all just trying to find some form of meaning in their lives whether it be Buddhism or Christianity, maybe there would be more tolerance.

Unfortunately, there are too many holier than thou morons out there who believe their religion is the right one and everyone else is wrong and going to be punished for believing so.

Unless someone goes out of their comfort zone (family beliefs) they will believe whatever they are brought up in according to location.  This alone is proof that there cannot be one ultimate religion.  Each civilization has their own beliefs according to what has been created in that specific region.

With today's society and our ability to travel to different locations, religions now have the means to promote their beliefs to all of the world; so now the religion with the most $$$ can spread the word.  Maybe this is why Christianity has the population majority with over 2 billion followers.  Of course Christianity includes many denominations from Catholic to Mormon; most of which believe the other is wrong!

Like my title says, Can't we all just get along!

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Love this cartoon!

Most recently I've been called a devil worshipper.  Really?!?!
From Freedom From Religion Foundation’s Freethought Today.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

There is no afterlife, sorry.

I've been an atheist for several years now; ever since I attempted suicide in 2004 and almost died.  The doctors stated to my family that I actually did die for a few seconds when my brain was not receiving oxygen.  I remember nothing; meaning when I was supposedly dead I remember black and nothing, like I was just asleep without dreaming.  No white light, dead family members, or spiritual awakening occurred in those few seconds.  In fact it was the complete opposite, a spiritual dying.  I realized there is nothing out there.  Our lives are here and now and too many people pass them up dreaming of an afterlife.

Many other people have expressed different stories while they have been "dead".  I believe they are all illusions that their brains have conjured up, such as very elaborate dreams.  Our minds are very complex, so much that all the studies in the world cannot come up with what is going on up there.  Maybe someday we will understand the human brain, but until then one cannot conclude that white lights upon entering death is anything more than mental trickery.

Enjoy your life today, there is no guarantee for the future.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

The Funeral

My grandpa passed away last night sort of out of the blue.  He seemed to be fine to everyone around him, but he did have several health problems and it's not a complete shock that he died.  I wasn't real close to him and am at peace with his passing since he did live a long full life.

The thing that I am unsure about is wether I want to attend his funeral.  My entire family is christian and the last funeral I went to for my grandma was like being in a church service.  I know it brings them comfort to think about their loved one going to "a better place", it's just that I don't buy into that BS!  It's just so frustrating to see everyone praising god and trying to get people to accept jesus christ into their hearts so that they will go on to heaven if they die (such as my atheist self).  It's just so unfair preying on the vulnerability of those experiencing a loss to try and get them to convert!

Sometimes I wanna just shout out that they are all morons and need to realize that even if there was a god he/she obviously is not a personal god or else there wouldn't be as much suffering as there is in this world.  I want to point out the fact that if people go on to be with their loved ones in an afterlife then how does it work for widows?  Do they end up with their first wife or husband or their second or even their third?  Or do they all of a sudden become a mormon in heaven with two wives or husbands?

I don't know how much longer I can keep my cool in situations such as these church like funerals; this is why I might abstain from going.  If my mom really says she needs me to go I will, but I may have to get a few words in about the absurdity of an afterlife.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Trying to create an SOS group

So I have decided AA is not for me due to the fact that it is so religious oriented.  There is a group called SOS (save ourselves) that has a similar concept to AA only it doesn't require someone to have a higher power.

The problem is there are not as many meetings locally like AA.  I want to start one up in my area, but it is hard to find people to do so.  I am going to drive to Cypress, which is about 20 minutes away for now.  I live in the Torrance, Redondo Beach area of California.  Hopefully through networking I will be able to get a group started up locally so I don't have to drive as far for long.  Until then I will because it is worth the feeling of fitting in.

I enjoyed the AA home group I had, but I just felt uncomfortable every time someone started god talking and when they ended with a prayer.  Anyone trying to get sober shouldn't have to feel that way.  I hope SOS gets large enough so others in my situation can benefit.