The last time I went to the dentist was when I was pregnant with my son three years ago. Three weeks ago I went for a checkup. They recommended $1400 worth of work and that's the part my insurance doesn't cover. Ha! It's ridiculous, but I did it because if I wait my teeth could get worse and more expensive.
So last week I had my right side done and today my left side. A total of 10 fillings, a cleaning, antibiotic packing, and irrigation (whatever that is) and I am fixed. It was so awkward sitting there while the dentist and technician worked on my mouth. I forget to hold my mouth open after a while and they have to remind me. They have this suction thing that stays in and hooks on the side of my mouth, along with the one the technician is holding. Then there's the drill! Arrgh, I hate it!
I get to go back in 6 months, I can't wait.
It is generally believed that many of those with bipolar disorder also struggle with alcoholism or substance abuse. Researchers, as well as many of those caught in the cycle of addiction, believe the use of these substances is an attempt to alleviate symptoms or to "self-medicate."
Monday, May 7, 2012
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Surviving
Well I decided to alter my antidepressant so I am taking a lower dose every other day. I just started last Saturday, but the past couple days I have been extremely tired. I think it is because I caught a bug or something because it is too soon for the medication adjustment to be kicking in; plus I am not experiencing any other signs of depression. Who knows?
I hate being this tired though; I've been going to bed right around the time my 2 year old son does. The only reason I am awake right now is because when my husband got home I took a nap! I've always loved to sleep because my dreams are always so intense.
Well off to bed I go! Everyone sleep tight!
I hate being this tired though; I've been going to bed right around the time my 2 year old son does. The only reason I am awake right now is because when my husband got home I took a nap! I've always loved to sleep because my dreams are always so intense.
Well off to bed I go! Everyone sleep tight!
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Mania or just a joy for life?
I recently went back to work after 2 1/2 years of staying at home with my son. It is giving me a new sense of pride and satisfaction I haven't felt in a long time.
Being bipolar, I am constantly keeping my feelings and emotions in check. If they get out of control it can send me on a downward spiral like it has in the past.
The problem recently is I've been on a high; being able to take care of numerous things quicker than normal, occasionally having a hard time falling asleep, and having a sense of overall positive attitude no matter what. I've also been inpatient with my son more than usual, but that could be because he's in his terrible twos.
One of the medications I'm on is an anti-depressant that my doctor put me on several years ago because I was in a deep depression. Over the years I have lowered the strength that I've been on. My most recent psychiatrist noted that he would like to take me off it completely; in fact he lowered my dosage on the anti-depressant and upped my mood stabilizer. A couple weeks after that, I noticed I was feeling signs of depression. I decided to go back up to the strength of antidepressant I was on. My reasoning behind adjusting my own meds is that I know my emotions best and can judge whether I am needing an adjustment or not.
Which brings me to my question...are my feelings of elation due to the new change in my life? And if so, should I lower my antidepressant to alter it. It's nice being on somewhat of a high, but that is what leads us bipolar's into trouble.
Being bipolar, I am constantly keeping my feelings and emotions in check. If they get out of control it can send me on a downward spiral like it has in the past.
The problem recently is I've been on a high; being able to take care of numerous things quicker than normal, occasionally having a hard time falling asleep, and having a sense of overall positive attitude no matter what. I've also been inpatient with my son more than usual, but that could be because he's in his terrible twos.
One of the medications I'm on is an anti-depressant that my doctor put me on several years ago because I was in a deep depression. Over the years I have lowered the strength that I've been on. My most recent psychiatrist noted that he would like to take me off it completely; in fact he lowered my dosage on the anti-depressant and upped my mood stabilizer. A couple weeks after that, I noticed I was feeling signs of depression. I decided to go back up to the strength of antidepressant I was on. My reasoning behind adjusting my own meds is that I know my emotions best and can judge whether I am needing an adjustment or not.
Which brings me to my question...are my feelings of elation due to the new change in my life? And if so, should I lower my antidepressant to alter it. It's nice being on somewhat of a high, but that is what leads us bipolar's into trouble.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Doctor day
Well I'm sitting waiting at the doctors for my two year old son who has been sick with a "cold" for over a week now. I'm worried its something more serious but I have a feeling there's not much they are going to be able to do.
Earlier today the kid and I were waiting at my doctors because on Saturday I "threw my back out"...whatever that means. All I know is its paralyzing where I don't even want to move for fear of the pinching sharp pain to return to my lower back.
We had a big weekend too, which made it even worse that this happened. I hurt myself Saturday morning while we were packing because we were going to drop off my son at my moms for the night while we went to a surprise birthday party for my cousin. Before all that though we drove up to my husbands parents to visit his sister and her clan. Its my husbands nephew and neices birthday this month. So after that we headed down to my moms, then to the party, and then to my grandmas for the night. The next day everyone gathered at my grandmas for Easter fun. My son was the only kid so he got spoiled. It was so great to watch him color eggs, find, and then hide them.
My mom was stoked that I agreed she could bring Luke to her church Easter morning because she was going to have him at her house. I didn't think it was fair that she miss her church service just because she was watching him. I told her it was OK because I don't think he could be brainwashed or indoctrinated on just one occasion. But it will most likely not happen again any time soon.
Still waiting at the doctors...hope they can help my little one.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Adjustment
It's been two weeks now since I started my new job. I only work 3 days a week, but I tell you that is enough for now.
My son is having to adjust to daycare, which he is having some trouble with. Every morning he has said he doesn't want to go and I have to convince him he'll have fun. Last friday was the worst though; he threw a full blown fit, kicking and screaming bloody murder and I had to carry him to the car. It was rough. I tried asking him if it was someone or something that he didn't like at daycare, but he said no he just didn't want to go. I think he just needs to adjust.
Just like me going back to work; it's been crazy trying to get back into the flow of things. I am feeling improvement and I hope they are noticing. When I was hired we made an agreement of a starting pay rate and after 3 months that would go up; I think in 3 months I will deserve that raise!
My son is having to adjust to daycare, which he is having some trouble with. Every morning he has said he doesn't want to go and I have to convince him he'll have fun. Last friday was the worst though; he threw a full blown fit, kicking and screaming bloody murder and I had to carry him to the car. It was rough. I tried asking him if it was someone or something that he didn't like at daycare, but he said no he just didn't want to go. I think he just needs to adjust.
Just like me going back to work; it's been crazy trying to get back into the flow of things. I am feeling improvement and I hope they are noticing. When I was hired we made an agreement of a starting pay rate and after 3 months that would go up; I think in 3 months I will deserve that raise!
Friday, March 9, 2012
Back to the working world
Today, amazingly, I was offered two jobs. I've been job searching for a couple weeks, had 3 interviews, two of which asked me back for working interviews. I was lucky enough to be able to choose the one I wanted.
The one I chose was not just because it was offering more money, although that was part of the decision, it was mainly because they send their employees to continuing education seminars and lectures. Another bonus is they asked me what days I want to work, since I'm going back part time; the other job said they were going to only hire me for fridays and saturdays, I do not want to work every saturday!
I called the daycare my husband and I chose and made arrangements for our son to start next monday. It is amazing all the changes going on in our lives. I'm excited and nervous along with so many other emotions.
I wanted to go back just part time so I can adjust going back to work and still spend time with my son while he's young. Being bipolar there is always a chance any stress that occurs might cause a chemical reaction altering my state of mind. I also have to be mindful of maintaining my sobriety. In the past I have used alcohol to deal with stressful situations; I don't want to fall back into that pattern. At least I have outlets now to express my feelings through this blog and also through the meetings I attend.
Being aware of my diseases and keeping the recovery from them as a priority really helps keep me from slipping into a downward spiral.
The one I chose was not just because it was offering more money, although that was part of the decision, it was mainly because they send their employees to continuing education seminars and lectures. Another bonus is they asked me what days I want to work, since I'm going back part time; the other job said they were going to only hire me for fridays and saturdays, I do not want to work every saturday!
I called the daycare my husband and I chose and made arrangements for our son to start next monday. It is amazing all the changes going on in our lives. I'm excited and nervous along with so many other emotions.
I wanted to go back just part time so I can adjust going back to work and still spend time with my son while he's young. Being bipolar there is always a chance any stress that occurs might cause a chemical reaction altering my state of mind. I also have to be mindful of maintaining my sobriety. In the past I have used alcohol to deal with stressful situations; I don't want to fall back into that pattern. At least I have outlets now to express my feelings through this blog and also through the meetings I attend.
Being aware of my diseases and keeping the recovery from them as a priority really helps keep me from slipping into a downward spiral.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Change, do I really want it?
Currently, I am a stay at home mom with a 2 1/2 year old son. My husband works and brings in a decent income and I recieve disability income while I'm not working due to being bipolar. The stress of going back to work might derail my stability, which is why social security allows a trial work period.
I am about to use that trial work period, but I need to obtain a job first. I've had one interview and will have another tommorrow. I've also submitted my resume to a few other places. I was so overwhelmed at that first interview; I hope only because I haven't interviewed in almost 4 years and that my future interviews will go better.
Along with having to find a job, we're having to find an affordable daycare for my son. Since I recieve a monthly income through disability, whatever job I get must make up for that and also cover daycare to make it worth going back to work. This alone makes me request a minimum salary from any job offer; which does not go over well with some employers.
So far the two daycares we've looked at have not impressed me. I'm probably expecting too much because I want it to be perfect for him and there's no such thing. A lot of daycares require him to be fully potty trained and he's not quite there yet.
All of this change is hard for me, but I want it. I think a part time adjustment period is necessary for both me and my son before we both go full time in a couple years. It's just so much easier to stay in the comfort zone of what is known, but that would not be good in the long run.
I am about to use that trial work period, but I need to obtain a job first. I've had one interview and will have another tommorrow. I've also submitted my resume to a few other places. I was so overwhelmed at that first interview; I hope only because I haven't interviewed in almost 4 years and that my future interviews will go better.
Along with having to find a job, we're having to find an affordable daycare for my son. Since I recieve a monthly income through disability, whatever job I get must make up for that and also cover daycare to make it worth going back to work. This alone makes me request a minimum salary from any job offer; which does not go over well with some employers.
So far the two daycares we've looked at have not impressed me. I'm probably expecting too much because I want it to be perfect for him and there's no such thing. A lot of daycares require him to be fully potty trained and he's not quite there yet.
All of this change is hard for me, but I want it. I think a part time adjustment period is necessary for both me and my son before we both go full time in a couple years. It's just so much easier to stay in the comfort zone of what is known, but that would not be good in the long run.
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