Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Almost Made it to a Year

I fucked up!

So last friday I was fired right before I hit my 90 day probation period.  They said my skill level wasn't what they expected and thought I should be farther along than I was after 3 months.  I was crushed.  I knew I wasn't progressing like I expected for myself, but to hear someone else say it was like being punched in the stomach and slapped in the face at the same time.

I left and immediately reverted to my old way of thinking...I want to numb my feelings and not think about it.  I tried calling a couple people, but did not have all the phone numbers I should have programmed in my phone (I do now).  Since no one answered I headed straight to the liquor store and bought a pint of vodka.  I went home and made a drink.  My husband ended up calling me back and told me to do what I was already thinking of doing...dumping the rest of the bottle out.  I did and fortunately did not get wasted like I planned.

I still felt like shit, but at least I didn't get hungover and vomit all over myself like the last time I got drunk.

New sobriety date = 06-09-2012

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